For many years, I have struggled with the necessity of focusing on outward appearance. I take it to heart when I hear the words, “The internal, and not the external qualifications of a man, are what Masonry regards.” If that is true, and I believe deeply that it is, then why should I worry about whether I am wearing a suit or jeans? Does it matter if I keep my shoes clean and my clothes ironed? Overweight, in shape, or somewhere in the middle – who am I to judge another’s outward appearance? In truth, it’s a tension between the ideal and how the world functions.
This is a tough subject indeed. Like it or not, the ideal, and functional concerns must find themselves in balance to achieve our earthly aspirations, and to help those around us. I will be the first to admit that I have a way to go here. Still, I thought I would share some observations.
Each day we present ourselves to the world. Each interaction begins with some kind of impression of who we are. As hard as that may be to admit, it is part of human nature. Yes, how we conduct ourselves and what is in our hearts is most important. But it is foolish to think we can completely avoid how others perceive us, or demand that every person look past every outward signal and see only the internal man.
If we do not take care of ourselves, our clothes, or the way we present ourselves, it can create one more barrier between who we are and what others are able to receive from us. I believe this is one reason my grandpa asked me long ago to always keep my shoes clean and polished. That said, I know it was not only about first impressions. He lived through the Great Depression and understood the value of taking care of things.
When items become scarce, we tend to understand their value in a deeper way. During those times, many went without basic necessities, and people learned to care for what they had. Too often, it is not until something fails, becomes scarce, or is lost that we realize how much we have under appreciated it. For a number of reasons, I will leave you to reflect on this because it seems strangely relevant today. Remember that many do not have access to what they need. If we find them in that condition, it is our responsibility to help them to the best of our ability without putting ourselves in harm’s way.
With that framing, I think we should understand that the effort we put into something transmits a message about ourselves. Getting past a first impression can be an uphill battle. I am certain each of us puts sincere effort into the endeavors of our lives, but if we want to speak about self-improvement, and if we want to seek to perfect ourselves, then we must also live and demonstrate those ideals in visible ways. Credibility can be weakened when that first impression calls our care into question, right or wrong. Our outward appearance communicates a message about who we are, the effort we are willing to apply, and the honor we show to those with whom we interact. The same is true about the memory work we perform, and the condition of our buildings.
My friend Dirk Hughes from the Michigan Masonic Museum and Library brings up good points about traditions: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/EGXS11MMQr8. He also mentions the importance of “dressing up”. Our work and traditions should remind us that we are participating in something special.
Recently, I found myself interviewing for new jobs. For years, I had kept a very long beard and often grew my hair out. There were a number of reasons for this, including the motorcycle culture I have grown to love. It had become part of my identity.
I also knew it conveyed a certain message; one that could make it more difficult to get a job. Is that right? I do not know. What I do know is that when I got a haircut, and trimmed my beard, many people I care about came up to me and told me how good I looked. That was a wake-up call. It reminded me that having enough pride and care in my appearance, and in the way I carry myself, affects how others perceive me. When my wife said I looked good, that was enough for me. Since then, I have been making time for regular haircuts and beard trimming. Moreover, recently, I saw my reflection in a door window while I was in my motorcycle attire. I must say: though I did not want to admit it, I looked better this way. More meticulous. More like a man who cares for himself, which makes it easier for others to believe the truth that I care for them too.
We should remember this as we groom ourselves, decide what clothes to wear, and care for the outward appearance of our lodges. We should remember the impression that obvious effort gives to others, the confidence that can come with it, and the way it helps us communicate what we value. Should it be that way? I do not know. But functionally, I can tell you from experience that it matters. Mr. Rogers once said that his biggest fear was that his ability to help others would one day be taken away. In a similar fashion, we should fear the day when the blessings and power of Masonry become irrelevant or are lowered beneath what they were intended to be. Cheapened into flash instead of substance. I am asking us to consider appearances, effort, and the messages they convey so that we do not lose the ability to work on truly important things, and so that we do not lose the ability to positively impact the next generations.
In closing, just because something is of the utmost importance: our heart, our character, and the way we conduct ourselves with others, it does not nullify the importance of other things. If you take nothing else from this reflection, I hope you will consider the effort you put into yourself because I want you to care for yourself as much as I care for you. I hope you will consider how we present ourselves to others so that we can share with them the treasure we have been blessed to receive.
I hope that you will consider these words, and that you will travel well, my Brothers.